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Love and Hate

June 4, 2011

Going through my list of super fun blog ideas tonight, one of them struck me as something I should write about. The title is called “Things I love and hate about my spouse”. Now, my husband’s pretty awesome most of the time, so I start typing… or trying to. Simple enough, right? Just a list of things that are great and things that bug the ever-loving shit out of you, right?

Wrong.

As most any of you married people out there will agree, there are, of course great things and not so great things about every husband (or wife). But there is almost never anything quite so straightforward as a simple little list of likes and dislikes. It’s not a chicken recipe, it’s your partner! And my man, as much as any other, is fairly complicated. I know, I know – you guys say that us women are the complicated ones, and we always say that men are simple and easy to deal with, but it’s really not that easy. There is, of course, a list. But the list is always wrong.

Take this week, for example. I decided to go on eBay and do some shopping for maternity clothes, since I am down to very few warm-weather shirts that fit me at the moment. I bid on a few things, the first of which was ending when I would be at work that day. I got a call later on from the hubby asking if I really wanted those shirts and that I’d gotten outbid (damn it!). I brushed it off and said that it was fine, I would deal and I still had the other shirts to win, too. Then he said that he upped my bid at the last minute and won them for me. He knew I wanted them, so he took the time to watch the auction end and get them for me.  And all this time his innate lack of thoughtfulness would’ve been on my dislike list.

So here is my advice. If ever you are feeling badly about your partner, make a list. And then take the time to really think about it and think of all the times that he (or she) unexpectedly broke one of your line items for your bad list. Sure, there will always be things that bother you about your mate, but when you stop to think about it, if you’re really, actually happy and meant to be together, those things start to disappear. No, not completely – him leaving his sink covered in shaving scraps will probably never be cute – but those things take an exceptionally low standing next to the time he defended you to someone talking down about you, or got up early and kept the kids out of the bedroom for that extra hour because he knew you were tired.

So love the one you’re with, and be with the one you love. Because if you love them and they love you, that’s really all that matters, isn’t it?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 12, 2012 4:36 pm

    I absolutely agree with you on this one. As long as it is little every day things bother you about your mate, these little things fade away the moment you remember all the little things they do for you. So if they leave their stuff lying around or have shaving scrapes on the sink is only what bothers you in your marriage, I think you are in a very good shape. We all are humans with pet peeves, every spouse (male or female) gets a little frustrated with their mate’s habits from time to time. And as long as nothing fundamental is a matter of conflict and as long as love is there, I will say that you are in a happy marriage.

    • August 12, 2012 8:34 pm

      Absolutely! We all have things that bug us about Everyone else – especially our spouses, but what really matters are the basics – love, respect, trust, and connection 🙂
      I would say that I’m in a Fantastic marriage!

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